Developing Healthy Self-Talk

Developing Healthy Self-Talk
Part one of two

This will perhaps be better presented in two parts:

The first and most important step in transforming negative, destructive self-talk is to recognize and acknowledge its existence. Many people struggle with “issues” in life and keep trying the same old strategies to beat them year after year to no avail. And we all know “if we keep doing what we have always done, we will keep getting what we have always gotten.” So, we need a new plan. The plan below is not intended to be a “quick fix” for something that can and may indeed be choking the life out of you you. For some it will be an answer to prayer. For others it may be a ray of light in the darkness. Simply work through it and ask Father to use it in your journey to freedom/
Here is a brief starter for you:

1- Stop and listen. This needs to be done when you have made one of those “missteps” mentioned in my last post. This is when it is most prevalent so it is the best time to listen for it.

2- Identify the negative “self-talk” what you said to yourself. “I am so stupid”, “I am worthless”, you fill in the blank.

3- Now ask yourself where it originated. If you don’t remember, ask father to reveal its source to you. Someone who said or did something or did not do something that should have been done.

4- You now have a choice to make. Do I want to continue allowing this person or persons to hold me hostage or would I rather be free to “have a Life”?

5- Matthew 18:21-35 gives us a picture of what forgiveness is truly about. It is a choice to release that person or persons from responsibility to repay you for the hurt they have cause you. Study the passage well and realize that “forgiving” them is not for them. It is not giving them a free pass or saying it is ok. It is releasing you from the prison within. As you forgive each one you will free yourself from the anger, resentment, hatred and bitterness that is likely now affecting every cell of your life. (More on forgiveness later)


Continued in my next post …….

Is Self-Talk sabotaging you?

Is Self Talk sabotaging you?

Self Talk? Many people don’t even know it exist and yet we can be totally controlled by it. One of the other real ironies of Self Talk is that if positive script exists at all it is rarely heard. The negative seems to have a magical power to overpower the positive.

So, what is self-talk? Where does it come from?

What is it?

Self-Talk is that negative, often caustic and ultimately crippling script that plays ever so subtly in our head at just the right time to inflict the most damage. It even sounds just like you and me and is most always heard in the first person. It usually shows up when we have made some misstep in life. Said or done something that hurt someone else or experienced some failure. The script often goes something like this:
• You are so stupid!
• You are hopeless
• You are a real looser
• You fill in the blank
Sometimes it takes minutes to recover, sometimes hours and sometimes days. When another comes before we fully recover, it may go on indefinitely.

Where does it come from?

Negative Self-Talk comes from “Negative Programming”. This programming may come from parents, siblings, a schoolteacher or other people of influence in our lives. Sometimes it is one traumatic event that “burns the groove”. Others grow up in what we might call an atmosphere of negativism. No matter how the Programming comes, it can be devastating. Our own voice is the most believable we have. The downward spiral begins with the words we hear, followed closely by thoughts and then feelings about ourselves. Moving down the spiral we come to beliefs about ourselves and finally an identity. This identity is a noun. It is who we believe we are. It may go something like this.
“Can’t you do anything right? Accompanying thought … I don’t do it right. Accompanying feelings … “I feel so stupid”. Accompanying belief … “When I show up things go wrong”. And finally, “I AM stupid, a looser, a Klutz, you fill in the blank for your thoughts, feelings, beliefs and identity.

In my next entry, we will look at what we can do about this kind of programming.

Under Construction

Welcome to my Blog,

As I am just beginning it will be a few days before I get into the rythem of posting so be patient with me and then enjoy the ride.

Thanks for visiting and come back soon.

Phil

http://www.safeplaceministries.org